Busy Busy Busy...

So, you know when you get really busy and/or go away from a few days? Yeah well, that's what I did. So, I just got home last night from being on my feet for 3 days, and just woke up from a nice 12 hour nap. But besides that, I have shocking news. You better be sitting down. Ready?

People I don't know actually read my blog o_O

Yeah, I thought I was just uselessly ranting for my personal therapy purposes and maybe to give my friends a laugh into my personal struggles. But, as I found out last week, people I'ved never met before read my blog O_o Now personally, I think that's kinda cool. Makes me feel like a mini celebrity. Whoot. But, as Murphey's Law dictates, in a bunch of nice people, there has to be one bitch. So, i'd like to share this story for the sake of writting something, cause God only knows how freakin' tired I am.

So you know what I hate today?

Newbs who think they're cool but are really idiots.

Now, for some of you non-internet-ish people, "newb" means "someone who is new at something" (sound it out). Its basically another way to say "newbie." So, as usual, Myloko has a story to explain this sudden urge to hurl something into a brick wall.

For those of you who don't know, I play an online game called Final Fantasy XI. And as per anything in this world, the game has those few idiots who need to be "naturally selected." You all know these people; You know, the ones you did NOTHING to, but just HAVE to make it their life goal to piss you off. So, let me share this "englightening" story of an idiot who needs to get their priorities straight.

A few weeks ago (2 at the most) I was in a party in the game. Basically, a party is a group of people who join together to kill shit for experience points. Unfortunately, this party had to be in the newbiest spot in the entire game (You've all heard its horror stories... its THE worst place to go in the game due to the fact that you're bound to lose a few DOZEN IQ points just by walking through there). Now, for you non-FFXI playing people, you might wonder, "why the hell is she there then?" Simply, it's the only place to go to level your low level jobs.

So, I was leveling my puppetmaster in this party, and it was going alright.... except for one little problem. This idiot, who shall not be named, started complaining, A LOT. About really stupid things of course too. But THEN, she starts attacking the party leader with insults because the party was lvls 15-17, and SHE didn't like that (I stress the she because she's probably a he). Now, you might think, "well that's no big deal" and really, it isn't. That's a perfectly normal party level gap of 2 between the lowest and highest job levels. But noooooooooooooooooooooo, her "highness" didn't like that and wanted to change. So, once the party leader refused to give into her idiot demands, you know what she did? She started going after ME.

You're probably reading this thinking, "well, what the hell did Myloko do to deserve such treatment?" I thought the same thing too. Like c'mon, I had done nothing... except maybe agree with the leader that the party was fine. So why did she attack me? Because I was the highest ranking player in the party (again, for those who don't play, you can do missions to increase your rank. You start at 1 and progress up through to 10, my rank just happens to be 8 at the moment). So, her assuming that I'm some god or something, she starts attacking me saying, "I would have expected more from a rank 8." Oh no, was I supposed to be SCARED that a newb thinks that I'M the bad woman because I'M RIGHT AND SHE WASN'T? So, to make a long story short, the leader kicked her ass out of the party. It was quiet and peaceful after that.

So, let's fast forward to last week (I think Wednesday, not too sure anymore). I was walking around the game, about to go join my game boyfriend, when all of a sudden this newb appears beside me. Now, me and more horrible memory only remember IMPORTANT things, so by this time I had forgotten the newb from that party's name, and most of that night cause I tend to forget stupid things. So, this newb suddenly tells me that they read my blog. Wow, I didn't know that random people reading my ranting. It was kinda cool. So, we chatted, and she was alright... until she decided to say "Your blog was alright, but I'd expect more from a rank 8." And that's when it hit me... THIS WAS THE SAME NEWB FROM LAST WEEK!

Needless to say, I was kinda pissed off. I think her screenname is Kathryn or something... so if you're on the Titan server, give her a happy hello... and maybe tell her that you'd expect more from a newb without a brain. 'Cause personally, I hate dealing with shits who don't have manners. You know the saying about "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all?" Please remind her of that. It's QUITE rude to be an idiot in the first place, but then to be a rude idiot who's just STUPID at the same time is a crime against humanity.

Breakin' The Break

Yeah, so I took a little week long break. Between all of that FFXI and Kingdom Hearts (and sleeping, of course) I didn't have much time to do anything else. Plus, you know, when you obviously have a medical problem that hurts, it's Murphy's Law that you're bound to get another to make the pain worse. Lo and behold, I have an ear infection. You know those bad ones where it hurts to touch but its ITCHY AS ALL HELL? Yeah... THAT kind. So basically, I've been wasting away on video games and pain medications for the last week. Aren't you happy that you aren't me?

So you know what today's hate all topic is?

Itchiness.
(n : an irritating cutaneous sensation that produces a desire to scratch [syn: itch, itching])

I hate scratching. I hate it. Cause when you scratch, you can't stop, and it NEVER does anything good in the long run. It makes your skin red, weird stuff (possibly skin) flakes off and then it gets all stuck in your nails and you're left with a big mess of yucky stuff. For example, I have dandruff like everyone else in this world. And after a few days (usually 2) my scalp gets REALLY itchy, so sometimes, I'm up at night practically rubbing my scalp RAW because it can get so bad. But what does that accomplish? Well, from my experience it does the following:

1) Makes really worn spots on my head bleed.
2) Puts little gross pieces of skin and dandruff under my nails (which bugs the hell outta me).
3) Makes me even MORE itchy.

So why DID the body invent the itch? Some say its to remove harmful stuff from your skin. I, personally, think it's bullshit. If they can do a quadruple bi-pass on someone's heart to keep them alive, then they can find a cure for ITCHINESS! 'Cause I swear, one day, someone's gonna lose it and go postal (or maybe it's already happened, iono). But, then people are going to have to wake up and say "Damn... what ants crawled up his pants?" Well maybe... IT WAS THE ITCH!

Women Issues

God forbid... I didn't post yesterday. You know when you suddenly get hooked on an old video game and you can't stop playing? Well, that's what happened to me... kinda. You see, yesterday, I had some "women's issues" that just TOTALLY made my day. If you're a guy reading this, I know you're like "omg... not another bitch tale." But please boys, hear me out. You are not a woman, you never have been one, and (hopefully) you never will be. YOU HAVE IT FREAKIN' GREAT! Now, I'm not saying that being a woman is ALL bad, everything has its ups and downs, but yesterday, it was definitely a down.

First off, it was that super-fun-happy time of the month where you spend an entire day curled up in your bed, watching TV (or playing video games in my case), popping more pills than a hooker, and bitching out the entire WORLD who happens to pass by you. And you know what? 99% of that day SUCKS. But the day before is freakin' GREAT!

If you didn't know by now, there's this thing called PMS, and you know what? I LOVE it! For one day, I can yell, bitch, scream and get my way... and I don't feel sorry for doing it at ALL! PMS gives me this power that makes me seem invincibe! But you know what? All of that power gets tossed into the garbage along with the used pads the next day. Everything has an equal and opposite reaction eh?

Now, when you're a woman on that horrible day, you know that you don't wana do anything but cuddle in bed and ANY person who tries to remove you from your comfy, warm place is damned to be run over by an SUV. So, while cuddling in my bed the night of my "friend"'s visit, my sister wanted to go to Starbucks. Personally, they're overpriced and their crap isn't great anyway. Somehow, my sister thinks its like a church cause she goes there ALL the time... no wonder she's broke. So aaaaanyway, she drags me out of my warm bed at 10PM to go to starbucks...because GOD FORBID she goes alone >.> So what do I have to do? I have to get changed out of nice, warm pyjamas, hop out of my nice warm and fuzzy bed, and go out into the relative cold night to get an overpriced drink. Fan-freakin'-tastic. Nobody there opens the door for me, or helps me carry drinks, or even GIVE A CRAP THAT ANYONE'S DISABLED! But that's beside the point. The point is that I had to get dressed, and that's quite a hassle.

You see, besides having fun, week-long visits from our best friend, we also have to wear these HORRIBLE things called "bras." They never fit right, they're always to big or too small, and, like all conspiracies, they're always out to get you. Most women are around a B or a C size, usually 36 or 38 inches, so that's the size they usually make bras in, which is understandable. But unfortunately, I'm not a B or a C or even a D. I just happen to be the lucky owner of a pair of 32DDD. Yes, I'm 32 inches around my bust. Yes, I've been measured properly. But you know what? That means NOTHING when you're shopping for a bra.

I guess companies assume that people with DDD MUST be fat, because the SMALLEST I've seen a DDD come in is a 36, which is WAY to big for me. So, even if I try one on, it's way too big. So I have to usually resort to wearing a DD because they make those in a 34. Still a bit big, but better than nothing, or so it seems. As I type this, I'm wearing a 34DD that's too wide around and my chest is literally "popping out." Now, if you had to live with people staring at YOUR chest all the time, you'd appretiate it if some morons at Wonderbra would recognize people with large breasts and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Who knows, they might even get MORE customers! XD

Barking Mad

You know what? I like animals. 99% of them in fact. I think they're cute, fuzzy, and fun to be with. But you see, I have a problem with 1% of them. And that certain 1% just happens to be in my house, sitting beside me RIGHT now. You know what that is?

Shitzus.

Yes, those "little" dogs that everyone and their MOTHER owns! In my entire life I have NEVER met a smart shitzu. Honestly, I think SPIDERS have a higher IQ! Now, I know some of you may be like "wtf is her problem?" Well, let me explain.

This certain shitzu, lemme call her "D" COUGHDakotaCOUGH happens to be the dog of my sister's friend. And for some ungodly reason, she's here in my house so that she can play with my dog. But guess what, she isn't. My dog's smart and tries to bite her. Personally, I don't like touching her let alone attempt to bite her. She smells like old bacon in her breath, she's dirty, and she's hella heavy to pick up. PLUS, she's the biggest wimp EVER and hides behind people's legs.

Now, if you remember, I had my leg operated on, so I do NOT like a dog jumping up against my VERY sore leg. So, to get rid of her, I decided to go to my room, hop in my bed, and just cuddle in my blankets. But oh no, this "thing" has to go jump onto my bed (God only knows how she does it) and THEN what does she do? SHE STARTS DROOLING ON MY BLANKETS! -_- So what do I do? I do what anyone else would: I shoved that smelly dog off my bed. But what does IT do? It hops RIGHT back on.

Pissed off and annoyed, I leave my room and go sit on the couch. And what the bugger do? IT FOLLOWS ME. And it just HAS to sit RIGHT beside me on the couch too. Pissed off, I just decide to live with it and go grab some apple pie, cause nothing makes you happier than apple pie, or so I thought. While eating my apple pie and watching some Seinfeld (can't go wrong with that combo) my mom comes walking through the door. And, as you all should know, dogs get hyper when someone walks through the door. So, what does the evil dog do? IT RUNS RIGHT THROUGH MY PLATE OF PIE, SQUISHES IT TO MUSH, MUSHES IT ALL OVER ME, AND THEN RUNS OFF -_-

So, there goes a decent day, spoiled by a dog that I can't stand. Why am I always surrounded by things I hate? @_@

We Wouldn't Miss Them

Alright, I actually had an alternate topic for yesterday that I was gonna write about but the Tylenol pissed me off so badly that I couldn't resist. So, without further adieu, I shall begin my therapy for today.

Everyone is afraid of something. Whether it be your mother-in-law, a killer crocodile, or falling out of an airplane. Now sure, these could all be scary in their own right... but they could never beat my fear. Oh no, I have a phobia so great, it has actually left me CRYING and SHAKING in fear! And do you know what this horrible phobia that even makes the great ME so scared?

Spiders.

Yes, those EIGHT LEGGED CREEPY THINGS THAT COME FROM THE NINETH LAYER OF HELL AND ARE THE PERSONAL SPAWN OF THE DEVIL HIMSELF!

I'm very aware that most of you are laughing by now, and if I didn't have this phobia I might be too. But I'm not. You see, spiders are a VERY serious threat. Have you ever LOOKED at this things? THEY'RE HUGE! And by huge, I mean like AN INCH LONG! Like cripes! That thing could eat me alive! And have you ever watched them crawl around? They look like they're plotting something evil AS they're staring at YOU!

Now, no phobia would be complete without some HORRIBLE traumatizing event in my life to cause it. Well, I honestly don't remember how it started. My sister probably threw one in my bed when I was younger and that's how it started. But besides that, I've been afraid of spiders even since I could remember. I've also noticed that this phobia has gotten worse as my years have progressed. And yesterday, I had an encounter with one of the Satan spawns...

Now, with a broken leg, your parents think that you're useless and they ship you off to be with your grandmother so that you don't stay home alone by yourself and end up dead by the time they get home at night. So what does any old lady do this time of year? Go flower shopping at the garden centers. Now personally, I like going flower shopping, so I really didn't mind. The only thing I really minded was the pain in my leg and as you should know, those Tylenol 3s I took before we went out didn't help at all. So, after hobbling around at the garden centers we finally decided to take our haul and go home. Keep in mind, the last garden center we went to was in the middle of NO WHERE and it was about a 45 minute drive back to her house. Joy.

Now, again, I don't usually mind a longer drive because it gives me time to stretch out my sore leg and maybe have a little nap, which is what I planned on doing... until I saw IT. There it was, this little white spider (and by little I mean HUGE) crawling up my LEG. Naturally, I kinda freaked and swatted it off. So, I figured I mighta killed the thing so I promptly began to stretch out and relax... until I turned my head to look out the window. There was the spider I thought I had just killed CRAWLING RIGHT BESIDE MY ARM ON THE FREAKIN' DOOR! So naturally, the anxiety and TOTAL FREAKIN' ABOUT TO WET MYSELF fear kicks in (thankfully, I held my bladder). So there it was, staring at me...and what does it do? IT STARTS SPINNING A WEB RIGHT BESIDE MY ARM ON THE DOOR! Naturally, I want to get AS FAR AWAY FROM THE HELL SPAWN AS I COULD, so I asked my grandmother to pull over. She just laughed and said no... and asked why I was breathing so heavily and CLUTCHING on to her arm ._.

Now, if you've ever been afraid of something, you know that you can't take your eyes off of it EVER, because if you move for even a SECOND, you know its somehow going to disappear and pop out behind you and eat you. So, all I could do for the remaining 30 MINUTES was to stare at this embodiment of evil, SCARED OUTTA MY FREAKIN' MIND, until we finally reached her house. But oh no, there would be a detour because GOD FORBID my grandmother NOT have her third Tim Horton's coffee of the day! (Thankfully the place is a 2 minute drive from her house or I SERIOUSLY would have had some form of heart attack). So JUST when I thought I would be safe from the ultimate evil she pulls over and goes RIGHT into the drive-thru.

Ever stared your fear in the eye (or eyes, spiders have 9 of them) and thought "GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE?" Well, that's how I felt. No where to run, no where to hide... it was just me, and it, in the drive-thru, with no escape. So the entire time we sat there, I was praying to God like it was judgement day, asking the Almighty to deliver me from the evil that is the hell spawn spider. And I think it worked, because thankfully, there were no other cars in the drive-thru and we got out pretty fast. So, we pulled out and headed for her house which I thought would finally be the end of it. But oh no, obviously the spawn of Satan has to have at least ONE trick left up its sleeve (or whatever spiders hide stuff in) to torture me with. So at last, we arrived at her house and she stopped to let me out of the car so that I could go up the steps into her house before she pull the car into the driveway (it's a bit tight in there).

After waiting SO long to get out of that car, I was finally ready to announce my victory over the evil spider! Or at least, I thought I would. But no, this is where the evil hellion had to use his trump card. As I stood up and flung the door open, do you know what it did? I assume in all of that web making he made some little tricks because as soon as I opened the door and attempted my prison break style escape IT CAME FLYING AT ME ON ONE OF ITS WEBS, HEADING STRAIGHT FOR MY FACE! Thankfully, I think God gave me a hand (literally) and helped me to swing my own with such precision and force that I sent that bugger flying back to hell! Now, not wanting to see if it would return for another round, I hopped so fast into that house that I scared the crap outta my bunny who was relaxing on the floor. Poor bunny. But alas, I had beaten the spawn of Satan and vanquished the evil! For now...

The Beginning of The End

Welcome to Mylokoville bitches ;) It is I, the mighty and all-powerful Goddess of winking and smiling herself, Myloko... me -_- I've basically made this blog to rant about things that annoy and piss the living hell outta me on a daily basis.

Like c'mon, if NOTHING pisses you off on a daily basis, then you just have problems.

For today's post, I wanna talk about something close to my heart, sort of. I'm talking about my leg.

My left leg was recently operated on a month ago because I had some uber rare "condition" where my knees were bending inwards (go figure, I get all of the weird diseases that no one catches until they need surgery ._.). So basically, they cut open my shin, broke my tibia and fibula (and by broke I mean sawed in half with, I assume, some form of chainsaw-like device), reset them so that I'd be "straightened out" (literally) and THEN they put a metal plate and some screws on it to hold the bones in place while they heal. So basically, I had a man-made broken leg... whoo.

But that isn't the fun part, oh no. The thing that pisses off Myloko today is:

Tylenol 3s

You know, those pills that are supposedly the BEST prescription a doctor can give you for pain? I think they're a horrible tasting placebo. Wait a second... I'm sorry, I just insulted sugar and I like sugar... a lot. So no, they're aren't placebos, they're FREAKIN CRAP FUSED TO LOOK LIKE A LITTLE, ROUND, WHITE THING THAT TASTES WORSE THAN YOUR COUSIN'S BURNT COOKING AND WORKS AS WELL AS A LEAKY PIPE IN YOUR ALREADY FLOODED BASEMENT!

Tylenol 3s are a joke... they:

A) Don't relieve my pain (if you've ever broken a bone, you know what it's like).
B) *Might* (not proven yet) release some pain relief...but by the time that happens I HAVE TO TAKE NEW ONES BECAUSE 6 HOURS HAVE PASSED! And THEN I have to wait ANOTHER 6 hours for a few MINUTES of semi-relief!
c) Could at least make 'em with a fruity coating like Advil so that I don't have to test my gag reflexes every time I swallow one -_-

So please... if you work for the Tylenol Company... kick yourself in the shin... and your co-workers, and your boss, and your company president and all of his buddies who are laughin' it up because they know that their product is a crock.

And why wonder why I still take them and complain even though they don't work? Because honestly, they make me take them >.> Hell dude, if people were threatening to take away YOUR dessert, computer rights, TV, phone and gaming consoles, wouldn't YOU?