Monday, September 25, 2006

Poetry

My friend made a really nice poem that I'd like to share. She has a real knack for poems and this one is just beautiful:

Today

The sun rises, a new day has begun.
Today I will achieve a goal, and set a brand new one.
Rising from my slumber, I think and plan my day,
Today I'll get my work done, and later is time for play.

I eat my breakfast faithfully, then go wash my face,
And head my way out of the door, a destination in place.
Today I will help someone out, a careful genuine act,
I wont complain of the rain or weather, or how the roads are packed.

I drive carefully to my workplace, and greet everyone with a smile,
Taking care to ask of their day, a little happiness lasts a while.
Today I will take an extra assignment, to lighten anothers load,
I will remain motivated and passionate, and remain in working mode.

I arrive back home from my work, and set my belongings down,
I may be tired and worn out, but I have my children around.
A sandwich for a snack I make, and admire their messy art,
Each smile from their excited faces, as they explain their part.

We play a game and make some dinner, and sit down to eat,
Then bath the kids and lay them to rest, and then put up my feet.
But I must not relax to long, theres projects due and things to clean,
I stand up with a small sigh, tired, but refrain from being mean.

Today I accomplished many things, and all without attitude,
I made another person feel good, and felt a sense of gratitude.
Though days are long and often tough, I dont let myself stray,
Keep focused and be kind to everyone, and never walk away.

Life is what you make of it, so make every day your best,
Take care of your own needs, but dont forget the rest,
A simple gesture can go so far, so help out all the time,
Have a great day and dont forget, a smile improved mine.

- Michelle Charles

Makes me wish I had talent like that XD

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Alive... Somehow

Yes, I'm alive, but DAMN I'm lazy! XD I don't know why I haven't updated, just kinda... yeah I have no excuse. Maybe it's the pills, maybe it's stress, maybe it's that sausage I ate, who knows. But the point is: I am lazy.

So, in the last few months, my sore leg has been healing and my doctor says the bone's looking and good and that I can put full weight on it (even though I've been doing that for 3 months). So, I figured I could finally go out and start working again... right? Wrong. NOW he says that when I go see him again in 2 months, he's going to talk about getting the damn plates removed! So basically, I have to find myself a job (a few hours a week is the best I can handle in my current situation) and then quit it in 2 months. Lovely.

Between back problems and leg problems i'm still wondering as to how i'm alive. Plus my family doctor (general physician, if you will) keeps trying to experiment on me with different drugs for anxiety. I'm currently taking cipralex (it just came out this year and it's quite new) but unfortunately, the highest approved dose by the drug board is 20 mg, and I reached that quite some time ago. So, to combat the anxiety that Cipralex isn't taking care of, he's decided to try me on some other drugs.

To the scientists who made these drugs: You were drunk, right?

First off, we tried Clonazepam, originally a drug used to treat seizures (spelled something like that) which wasn't too bad, except:
-it made me a zombie
-it made me horny as hell
-some anxiety still there

Second we tried Zyprexa, which was originally used to treat skitzos >.> This one wasn't as good but:
-it made me fall asleep almost RIGHT after taking it
-it made me anxious the entire time I was awake

So just this week, we tried Risperol. After flipping through a few drug books, it's been recommended that you SEEK ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES! XD And I can see why too:
-it made my body shake (one night I was up for 2 hours shaking like crazy)
-my anxiety got worse
-the withdraw is HELL trying to get off of it.

So, from all of that... I think the first drug was the best @_@ Plus the next time I go see my doctor we have to talk about breast reduction ._. It's come to the point now where I have to buy large sized shirts just to fit over my chest (/.\) So, I guess it's for the best but, i'll kinda miss em ;_;